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by gleeksfreaksandwannabes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, People Actually Talk, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Protective Sam Wilson, i guess, introspective bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18717274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleeksfreaksandwannabes/pseuds/gleeksfreaksandwannabes
Summary: MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS IN THIS STORYSteve makes a choice.This takes place after the final scene of Endgame.





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**Author's Note:**

> What?! I’m posting? After how many years? And in a new fandom? What is this nonsense?!
> 
> Ok, so I watched Endgame, and while I loved it I - like a lot of people - am not jazzed about Steve’s ending. I just think if this is the ending he got it could’ve done with a little more explanation, and because I’m me I turned it Steve/Bucky! This is basically what I like to imagine happened after the last scene of the movie, jumping back to current time with the Bruce and everyone, based off a story I read, which I’ll link for you!
> 
> I basically read [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18691345) and went, ‘yep, that’s canon now!’, but I’m also pretty proud of my version, so I hope you enjoy!

.  
.  
.

“In five, four, three, two... one,”

One.  
They stare at the empty launch pad. Bruce’s eyes move frantically to his equipment, flicking switches, pressing buttons. Sam whirls on Bruce,  
“What the hell happened?”  
“He missed his jump point!” Bruce says frantically.

One.  
“Well, bring him back!”  
“I’m trying!”  
Sam and Bruce are panicking. Bucky should be panicking too. Steve could be stuck in a time loop, trapped in the quantum realm like Scott, he could’ve been killed before he finished his mission - anything! - but he can’t bring himself to worry. He feels a sense of calm rolling over his body, warm and slow, enveloping him like hot water after a cold day, and he can’t pinpoint why, but he knows it’s okay.

One.  
It’s okay.  
“Bring him the hell back!” Sam snaps, and Bucky should tell him. Somehow, he knows, and he should tell him, give Sam the piece of mind he has, sitting warmly in his chest, but he looks out towards the lake and —  
“Sam,”

He’s there, clear as day, smaller than he was before, not nearly as small as Bucky remembers him. His silver hair like a cap of snow atop his head, bowed slightly, as if he’s looking at something in his lap. Sam catches Bucky’s eye, and Bucky nods, a small smile passing over his face as he catches Bruce staring, astounded, beside him. It seems to be the right choice, Bucky realizes. Steve looks up and smiles as Sam reaches his side.

“You didn’t want to see him first?” Bruce asks him as he watches the two speak. Bucky shakes his head,  
“If he wanted me, he would have said so,” he’s not sure what’s going on, how Steve managed to age during his jump, or why he’s back instead of where Bucky thought he would be, but somehow he feels like this is right. He’s sure whatever weird plan Steve has come up with will reveal itself soon, it always did with Steve, even if it wasn’t what he was supposed to do, and Bucky trusted Steve implicitly.

“That’s not what I asked,” Bruce says, the eyes of the giant green monster so kind, intently sympathetic, that Bucky has to look away. He sees Steve opening what looks to be a bag that once housed his art portfolio, and he feels a warmth in his chest at that. Steve must’ve gotten back into art in his new life. Good, Bucky thinks, he needs something to do outside of putting himself in danger.

Steve draws out the shield, whole again, the light dancing off the paint as he hands it to Sam, who looks briefly stunned. He turns back to Bucky after a moment, his eyes seeking confirmation, reassurance, despite what Bucky imagines are those exact sentiments coming from Steve. He nods again anyway, a fond smile creeping onto his face. He was glad Bruce didn’t ask, even though he knew his answer.

After everything he’d been through, all the times where he hadn’t known himself, his world, his friends, his past, one of the things he knew with absolute certainty was that he did not want that shield. If Steve had offered it to him, he would have taken it without a second thought, because it was Steve, and he’d do anything for Steve, but he was tired. After all the blood he’d spilled, all the wars he’d fought, Bucky knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that after all of this was over, he would leave. He’d find a place in Brooklyn again, take up jogging or cooking or music, live in Wakanda again with his goats, grow crops and bathe in the lake. Anything, as long as he wasn’t fighting anymore. 

Sam isn’t done fighting, not by a long shot. He has the strength in him that Steve does, Bucky knows this, he’s seen it. He’s seen the man risk his life again and again, for Bucky, for a stranger he barely knows, because Steve asked him to. Because it was the right thing to do. Sam is loyal to a fault, he has a will, a need to protect what’s right, Bucky thinks, he couldn’t name anyone more suited to carry on Steve’s legacy.

Bucky sees Bruce head down to meet Sam, who is turning the shield over in his hands. Neither of them notice Steve disappearing, phasing away into nothing. Bucky should panic, he should warn them that their friend has just disappeared for good, but he doesn’t, because he feels it. A warmth, a comforting presence beside his shoulder, and he turns, and he sees him. Sees warm blue eyes gazing out at the pair by the lake, so engrossed in the shield as Bruce talks about running tests and quantum signals and god knows what, and when he speaks, his voice is as clear and unwavering as ever.

“Oh good, he made it back,” Bucky wants to ask Steve why he did it, but he doesn’t. He has a feeling Steve has a long story he’s been waiting to tell them.

“You’re a punk,” he says instead, and the gentle smile passing over Steve’s face is like stepping into a patch of sunlight in winter. Bucky basks in it, his own smile slowly forming of its own volition as Steve says “jerk”, and then they’re hugging. Steve’s arms crush Bucky against him, warm and secure and safe, his heart beating in his chest, under Bucky’s ear, sure and steady as Bucky holds him tight.  
‘I love you,’ he thinks ‘god, I thought I’d lost you. I love you, I love you, I love you,’

He thinks one day he might say it, he thinks maybe, with a pickup of his heartbeat, that he could say it now, that maybe Steve would say it back, and they’d be kissing and everything would be alright, for once.

But he doesn’t, because there’s a shocked “Steve!” reaching their little bubble, and Bucky prepares to step away as Sam approaches, but Steve doesn’t allow him to do more than lift his head off his chest, his arms slipping down to encircle his waist, holding him tight against him as he greets the others.

He sees Sam’s eyes on them, on Steve’s arms, holding Bucky to his chest, the way Bucky’s head fits perfectly under Steve’s chin, but he doesn’t comment. Bucky is sure he knows, at least how Bucky feels, but he’s glad for Sam’s silence. He doesn’t feel like explaining, much less leaving Steve’s warm embrace. Now isn’t the time.

“So,” Sam says slowly “I can’t be the only one wondering how in the hell you managed to get back here,” Steve chuckles, softly, but Bucky feels it radiate through his whole body. God, he’d missed that sound. He shifts slightly, one arm moves from around Bucky’s waist as he shuffles his feet somewhat guiltily, the other securely holding Bucky to his right side, as he looks to Sam.

“I’m sorry,” he begins “if I’d told you, then you’d know, and I couldn’t risk screwing up time any more than I was going to. Besides, you’d only worry,”

“I still worried, asshole,” Sam says, though there’s no bite behind it.

“So how did you manage it?” Bruce asks “I mean, that old man was—“

“I’ll get to him,” Steve says with a smile “but let me start at the beginning. I jumped to where you told me to - I did!” he adds as Sam opens his mouth to interrupt “but after I returned the Tesseract, I made a slight detour.” Bucky sees Bruce clench his fists, but Steve holds firm, pressing on,

“So I found Peggy, and I explained to her what happened, and I told her I owed her a dance.” he pauses for a moment, clearing his throat and continuing before Bucky can press him about it “after, I thought I’d tell her about everything that happened. This was a different timeline, so technically I could change it without making a difference to our timeline. I told Peggy all about Zola and Hydra, about how SHIELD was compromised, and how to stop it. I told her about how you fell, Buck, where you where, what would happen to you if she didn’t save you. She promised she would, she’d wake me up, and we’d - they’d go and find you, get you to a doctor and make sure you were OK before Hydra got to you,” Bucky is speechless; here is Steve Rogers, the man out of time, the great Captain America, with his one chance to stop fighting and live with the woman he loved, and he still fought against Zola and Hydra, stopped them from destroying SHIELD, he brought Bucky - his alternate self anyway - back to life, saved him from everything, all for what? It didn’t bring him Peggy, didn’t make hanging up his shield any easier, it was all so that some alternate version of the world - of Bucky - could be happy.

He must have gotten lost in his thoughts, his gaze, wide eyed, fixed on Steve, because Sam clears his throat, startling the pair out of their moment,

“But wouldn’t all that mess up our timeline?”

“Not, not exactly,” Bruce muses “when you went back, you altered that Peggy’s experience, creating a cascade of future events - Peggy waking you up, finding Bucky, stopping him from being the Winter Soldier, stopping Zola and Hydra from infiltrating SHIELD - all of that exists in a new timeline, where things are different, where apparently, you grow old and get married,”

“Yeah, you wanna tell us about that?” Sam asks with a smirk “Your old man self wasn’t exactly up for sharing details,”

“I’m getting there,” Steve replies “let me finish the story. So I after I dropped the power stone on Morag I landed on Vormir, figuring I could take the Soul Stone and then jump back to 2012 New York to give back the Time Stone, and Schmidt was there. I figured I could just hand the stone back and that would be the end of it, but something he said in his little opening speech stood out. He said ‘the stone demands a sacrifice.’ I thought maybe, if I returned it, I could pull off one last miracle. I told the Skull we’d sacrificed plenty using the stone, I told him all about how Tony wiped out Thanos’ army, how we lost Vision and Nebula’s sister. Then I told him about Tony,” his voice grows thick, Stark’s name sticking in his throat “I thought with all that sacrifice, the stone might be willing to do us one more favour,”

The platform lights up behind them and - just like the cheesy ending of those Lifetime movies Steve made him watch - out walks Natasha. Bucky would have half expected some uproarious musical score to follow her, if his heart wasn’t filled with so much joy as she joins them.

“You just had to make an entrance Romanoff,” Steve smirks, and she smiles in return.

“You wish,” she says “I’ll leave the theatrics to you, drama queen,” she winks, but as quick as the smile appears on her face, it’s gone again, and she stumbles. Sam rushes to her side as her knees buckle and she leans heavily against him. “You didn’t tell me this much time jumping would mess me up like this!”

“Take it easy Nat,” Steve says gently “you’ll get used to it,”

Bruce’s eyes are wide as he frantically looks between them all,  
“Steve, what have you done?! You’re - she’s not - what if you change our reality-“

“Bruce, relax,” Steve says calmly “nothing’s going to change in our reality, because I didn’t change anything. The Ancient One told you if you remove something from it’s current timeline you can create a branch timeline, right?” Bruce nods shakily. Bucky doesn’t blame him. “But when you put it back exactly where it’s supposed to go, the timeline rejoins the main timeline. Nat wasn’t supposed to go, Bruce, she was only meant to leave temporarily, this was always the way this timeline was supposed to happen. I tried asking for Tony, but Schmidt just kept telling me ‘a soul for a soul’, and I kept thinking maybe he meant the soul for Nat, but he meant we had to balance the scales of the universe. If Tony hadn’t sacrificed himself, we wouldn’t have beat Thanos, and I couldn’t have put the stones back into place, or gotten Nat back, and we’d be living in one of the 14 million alternate timelines Dr Strange talked about. He traded his life so that we could win, so that Nat could come back to us, like she was supposed to, and I could return the stones to their rightful place in the universe, like I was supposed to.”

“So you’re saying,” Bucky says slowly, a heavy pit in his stomach as he realizes what Steve is getting at “if Tony hadn’t died, then you would have —“ Steve nods grimly, and Bucky finds himself turning and pressing his face against Steve’s chest, burying his nose in the fabric of his suit, his breath trembling as he inhales his scent - burnt and sharp and warm and inherently Steve - a coldness in his chest at the thought of what might have happened. Steve places a gently hand on the back of Bucky’s head, thumb stroking up and down in time with his breath,  
‘I’m here Buck, I promise... I made it, and I’m not going anywhere...’

“So Nat and I went to New York,” he says when Bucky composes himself and pulls away “we met up with the Ancient One and returned the stone, but from the rooftop I could see him. He was sitting at that little cafe Nat, you remember? The one with the perfect view of Stark Tower. I used to sit and sketch there, when I first came out of the ice, I guess he did too. He was me, but the older me...”

 

‘I take it you’re the man who sent Peggy looking for me,’ he says it before he sees Steve, and the younger man stops for a minute,

‘Yes sir,’ he inwardly berates himself - why was he being so formal?! This was his alternate self, for goodness sake!

‘I know your ma would’ve told you to respect your elders, just like mine did,’ Steve’s older counterpart says, turning to face him ‘but how about we skip the formalities? It’s just us - or me - isn’t it?’ Steve nods, taking the seat offered to him by the older man. Natasha had offered to sit at another table, far enough away that she was giving him privacy, but close enough that she could intervene if things went wrong.

Steve studies his counterpart as the old man sips his tea; his alternate self is sporting years upon years of wrinkles - which Steve hopes have been from years of happiness rather than pain - and snowy white hair; he had obviously lived a long and happy life in this universe. Around his blue eyes are what Natasha called laughter lines, sprouting like new roots from his eyes, becoming more prominent as his eyes sparkle and he smiles at Steve,

‘Go ahead,’ he says ‘I know you have plenty of questions, so you might as well get started.’ Steve hesitates for a moment.

‘Are you — am I — OK?’ he asks carefully ‘In this universe, I mean,’

‘You want to know if it worked,’ his older self says, with a sage wisdom Steve isn’t sure he’ll ever possess. He nods.

‘It did.’ the old man says kindly ‘Peggy pulled me out of the ice, we saved Bucky and stopped Hydra,’ his voice turns wistful ‘Then I married the love of my life when the time was right, and we’ve been happy ever since.’

 

‘What about the shield?’ Steve asks, his eyes on the portfolio case sitting beside his alternate self. The old man gives him a gentle smile.

‘I kept it for a while, but after Hydra it seemed like the world didn’t need a hero anymore, so I left that life behind. I’d been looking for someone else to take it, just in case, but no one ever fit the bill.’ Steve is silent for a moment, pondering; a world without a war... was there a chance his world would ever end up like that? This world’s Steve seemed to have made a life for himself, retired the shield, but was that even possible in his reality?

‘I can hear your thinking from out here, you know,’ his older counterpart says with a chuckle ‘it’s possible, Steve, in every version of our story, I’m sure there’s a time where we can put down the shield, make a life for ourselves,’

‘I don’t know if I could just leave it all behind,’ Steve says, his chest heavy even as he says it.

‘So don’t,’ the old man responds, tapping on the case affectionately ‘pass it on to someone else, let them carry the mantle. Your world may still need saving, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend your whole life doing it. Don’t forget to live, pal,’ he says, and Steve catches the way he twists the wedding band on his finger affectionately. He feels a pull in his chest, and - as innately as he knows his shield itself, he knows.

 

‘I’ll take care of the shield,’ his counterpart says as they stand ‘you just count to ten and make sure you get back to them. It’s time, pal,’

 

Steve thanks his alternate self as Natasha approaches,

‘So this is what you look like when you’re old, huh?’ Steve is stunned, but his older counterpart brushes her remark off with a smile,

‘Nice to see you too, Nat. Make sure this one gets home in one piece, will you?’ Nat smiles knowingly, setting her time piece,

‘Will do, Cap,’ she says, and the old man is gone.

 

“I told him to give you the shield,” Steve tells Sam “because there’s no one else I trust with it more than you. I know you’ll do me proud, Sam.” Bucky sees Sam blinking harshly at sudden tears, and when he speaks, his voice is hoarse,

“Thank you, Steve,” he says, letting out a breath “why send him though?”

“I knew you wouldn’t have taken it if I’d given it to you.” Steve begins “You wouldn’t let me go unless you knew I’d be OK, unless I’d made the choice to leave the shield behind on my own, and I was going to finally find a simple life, so what better way than to show you a version of myself that was at peace, who was retired and who was truly happy? That’s where I’m heading, Sam, that’s why I’m leaving you the shield.”

There is silence for a moment, everyone watching Steve carefully, before Sam lets out a sigh, his warm gaze finding Steve’s, and Bucky is, not for the first time, immensely grateful that Steve and Sam found each other in his absence,

“I’m happy for you Steve,” Sam says genuinely “I hope you find what the old man was talking about,” Bucky watches as Steve smiles to himself, small and comfortable, and he thinks that he could stare at that smile forever.

“I’m sure I will,”

 

Steve pulls Bucky aside later as Bruce, Sam and Natasha begin discussing the new shield. He can see Bruce trying to explain quantum mechanics to the others as he begins to test the metal, but Steve’s hand on his arm soon draws his attention away.

“What is it, Buck?” as usual, Steve can read Bucky’s thoughts long before he’s formed them himself. He takes a moment to quiet his mind before responding,

“Why didn’t you stay?” his voice comes out smaller than he thought it would. He looks away, but Steve’s gaze remains locked on him, ever present, as always. “Steve, you could’ve had everything you ever wanted - could’ve married Peggy, had kids! - don’t you want that anymore?” his voice is getting higher, incredulous, and he stamps it back down. “Steve, you could’ve gone home.” Steve’s eyes bear into his own, needing him to understand,

“It wasn’t home, Buck,” he tells him “not knowing you were out there, somewhere, knowing all the terrible things that were going to happen if I didn’t change things,” Bucky shakes his head as Steve lets out a trembling sigh, always pushing, always searching,

“And after?” he asks, his voice clipped, and Steve flinches “You could’ve had everything, Steve! Why didn’t you take it?” he’s frustrated now. Steve is holding back, and it’s killing Bucky, not knowing. Part of him wants Steve to spill it out, tell him the god damn truth, but the other part of him is afraid to hear the answer.

Steve pauses, holds his breath, his eyes searching Bucky’s own, desperate for him to understand, but Bucky won’t let him get out of is that easily. He can’t, he has to hear it from Steve, one way or another, once and for all.

“It wasn’t mine Buck.” he says softly “In my heart, I knew that. Peggy had everything, she would have a husband, kids, she’d have a career at SHIELD. That wasn’t my life, Buck, I couldn’t take her life away from her, even if I wanted to.” Bucky’s breath hitches, and he stops. He’d been clinging onto every word Steve was saying, running alongside him as he rambled, trying to make Bucky understand, but now he’s stopped, his toes on the edge of the precipice, body leaned over as he’d come to a screeching halt.

“You didn’t want to?” he asks, almost a whisper. He’s terrified and he wants to take it back, but Steve’s eyes bear into his.

“No,” he says clearly “I don’t.” he steps forward, his hands finding Bucky’s biceps as he reaches him, pulling the two of them a step closer together, pulling Bucky from the edge “Bucky, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. In every universe I travelled returning those stones, I hoped to god I’d see myself loving you, living with you, marrying you.” Bucky lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and it shudders with the weight of what’s been said.

“And did you?” he asks carefully. Steve takes his hand, the warmth of his touch sending a new jolt of electricity to his body, but he focuses on Steve, his Steve, as he speaks,

“When I met my alternate self in 2012 - the one who stopped Hydra with Peggy -“ Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, trying to remember which Steve is which. When he opens his eyes Steve is smiling at him fondly, and something warm flips in his chest. “ - I asked him if I was ok in this future, if you made it. He told me he could say, knowing his future shouldn’t impact mine, seeing as I was probably heading there anyway.” Steve brings a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it and looking down bashfully, and it takes every ounce of self control Bucky has not to shove him to the ground and kiss him then and there.

“He told me after he rescued you, we - they stayed close for years, living together with Peggy, loving each other until it was finally ok to be together in public.” he looks up through his eyelashes at Bucky, and it takes him a moment, his heart tripping over itself as he puts the pieces together. Steve’s stories of Peggy and children - her husband -in this universe, the wedding ring on alternate Steve’s finger, glistening in the sunlight as he passed the shield over earlier...

“Bucky, they — we — got married!” Steve’s voice is breathless as he says it. He’s struggling to believe it himself, Bucky realizes.

“When he told me I must’ve looked pretty shellshocked,” Steve says with a breathless chuckle “because he laughed - that kind of knowing laugh, Buck, like he really was me in the future, not some crazy other universe version of me - he said, ‘when you do stop, and you will. When you finally realize it was right in front of you, take it, let someone else save the world, god knows I wish I’d done it sooner.’ he said ‘tell him son, we’ve both waited long enough’.”

Steve lets out a small breath, his eyes finding Bucky’s and softening instantly.

“Buck - I love you -“ he says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “in every universe, in every timeline, every century, I love you, I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but —“ he’s cut off by a crash of lips against his, melting into Bucky’s embrace, his arms settling around Bucky’s waist, as if they’d been living there for years. They stay like that, arms around each other as if they’re slow dancing, taking in every moment, every breath, every confession they never shared. It’s warmth and it’s safety, it’s comfort, it’s home, it’s everything Bucky could have ever asked for and more, this kiss. He feels as if he’s some doe eyed kid in a dream, and he never wants to wake up. Fate, his lungs, and Sam Wilson have other plans.

They separate, reluctantly as Sam clears his throat, and turn to find 3 pairs of eyes on them. They don’t move, a few inches between them as they turned to look at him, arms still around each other, which Bucky is immensely glad for. He doesn’t think even Thanos himself could take him away from Steve right now.

“Sorry,” Steve says sheepishly, but Sam shakes his head, smiling fondly at the pair, Natasha and Bruce by the quantum tunnel mirroring his expression. Bucky could swear he sees Bruce slide Natasha a $20 bill, and he shakes his head fondly at the pair as he turns back to Sam.

“Don’t be,” Sam says, “I’m glad you’re finally home, the both of you.”

He drops a final wink in their direction, before turning back to the others and leading the way back into the cabin. Steve turns back to Bucky, his forehead gently resting against Bucky’s own.

“Home,” Bucky muses, his fingers gently playing with the hair at the back of Steve’s neck “I like the sound of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I planned and wrote this all in a couple of hours, so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes!
> 
> I also don’t think I will be coming back to write on here much anymore, I’m really busy right now, but this is just something that popped into my head and wouldn’t leave me alone, it’s also one of my favourite things I’ve ever written, so I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
